


fireworks like a mouthful of stardust (even in the darkness you are so beautiful)

by dracometria



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, M/M, all x hueningkai, based off of 200803 trust line vlive, mention of trainee days, no real plot, seriously it's just boys kissing, sookai end game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26914975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracometria/pseuds/dracometria
Summary: They do not talk about the stolen intimacy in the hallways where if they arrived early enough or stayed late enough they wouldn’t have to worry about running into other trainees, wouldn’t have to worry about the CCTVs that guarded each practice room.They do not talk about the kiss Kai sneaks one time at the McDonald’s on the way home, when he pulls their hoodies close together at the corner table.They do not talk about Kai staying in Soobin’s bed at the dorms or vice versa where they’d been so wrapped up in each other it was impossible to tell where one started and the other ended.And they do not talk about the last kiss the night before their official debut.
Relationships: All/Huening Kai, Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai, Choi Soobin/Huening Kai, Choi Yeonjun/Huening Kai, Kang Taehyun/Huening Kai
Comments: 22
Kudos: 164





	fireworks like a mouthful of stardust (even in the darkness you are so beautiful)

**Author's Note:**

> i meant to post this for hyuka's birthday but was late so i just.....shelved it  
> you may have already read snippets of it on my twt, the pairings are separated by "nights" if you only want to read a specific part (overall it's sookai tho)
> 
> i meant for it to be something brainless and fluffy but then trainees sookai wormed their way in there so uh it is a little longer than expected (hope you like it!! i don't usually write canon compliant fics because they are.....complicated, even tho this whole fic is based off a vlive i've taken liberties with)
> 
> title pulled from poppin' star and your eyes tell respectively. i listened to only one of these songs while writing the fic ٩( ᐛ )و
> 
> **reminder/disclaimer that these fictional characters are in no way shape or form meant to reflect the members in real life**

Kai is adorable when he sleeps. Soobin smiles fondly at him, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest even as he clings onto Molang. He marvels as he brushes Kai’s bangs away from his forehead—how can someone grow so much, yet still retain so much naive, untouchable innocence? The sharp jawline that’s softened by sleep, the hint of leftover cheek fat that hasn’t completely gone away yet—just thinking that Kai isn’t even done growing yet pulls on Soobin’s heartstrings. He feels equal parts fascinated and terrified by the youngest’s continued growth. Kai used to need him; they used to need each other. But now, more and more, it feels like Kai is able to stand on his own. He’s no longer the shy trainee who would cling only onto Soobin all the time.

(Kai clings to the rest of the members as well now, and there’s no space for jealousy, so Soobin shoves and compartmentalizes those feelings away.)

Soobin sighs, and without thinking about it at all, presses a gentle kiss against Kai’s forehead. _It’s habit,_ he tells himself, and though Kai never brings it up, the way his eyes shine whenever Soobin does it now—very rarely—gives the stars competition. 

He stretches before carefully disentangling their limbs. He loves Kai, he really does, but he doesn’t understand how he can bear to sleep on the hard floor. Maybe they need to invest in a futon or an air mattress. He’ll look into that later, if the days continue the trend of being uncomfortably hot. 

Kai makes a soft noise when he leaves, body curling around the warm space that Soobin used to occupy. Soobin’s heart squeezes. _So cute._ He carefully tucks the rest of the blanket around Kai before heading back to his room.

Beomgyu glances at him when he enters the room, occupied with his videogame. “I thought you were sleeping with Kai in the living room.” 

Soobin slumps onto his mattress. “He fell asleep first,” he mumbles into his pillow.

“So you left him?” Beomgyu says in disbelief. “You’re trash.” 

Soobin groans. “Don’t be dramatic. He’s a big boy now. And the floor is way too hard.” 

“No, he’s a _baby,_ ” Beomgyu huffs, and after he finishes his game a few minutes later, he plucks Ryan from his bed with his blanket. 

“It’s too hot for two blankets,” Soobin says, half-asleep. “You’ll end up cuddling anyway.” 

And if he notices the faint blush on Beomgyu’s cheeks, he doesn’t say anything. 

_Night one - Beomgyu_

Beomgyu eases himself and Ryan next to Kai carefully in an effort to not wake him up. Just when he’s finally settled, he feels Kai’s arm wrap around his waist. 

“Beomgyu-hyung?” Kai says sleepily, cheek squished against the pillow, face barely visible due to the Molang plush. 

“Hmm?” 

“Closer, Beomie.” 

“What?” 

Kai giggles, light and airy. “Closer, hyungie.” 

Beomgyu’s mouth twitches with irritation, but he’ll let it slide for now. “Move Molang, then.” 

Kai whines. “Wanna cuddle both.” 

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Beomgyu says, reaching over to flick his forehead. “Don’t waste my time, Kai-yah.” 

_“Don’t waste my time,”_ Kai parrots back in a mumble, but he gives up the rabbit plush, setting it gingerly aside before burrowing closer. Beomgyu has half a mind to kick him before he feels Kai pull him closer, his breaths almost ticklish against his neck. “You smell good.” A pause, then in a murmur, “You always do.” 

“It’s called perfume,” Beomgyu says, trying to sound amused rather than flustered, “maybe you should try using some.” 

“Maybe. I think smelling like Beomgyu-hyung would be nice.” Beomgyu’s brain maybe short-circuits between the compliment, Kai nuzzling his hair, and the way his hand flattens against his stomach, warm through the thin material as he shifts closer. 

“You really do say anything you want to,” Beomgyu mutters, rolling onto his side to stretch his cheeks in retaliation, trying his best to ignore the way Kai automatically adjusts his arm around his waist as he does so. 

Kai makes a halfhearted attempt to shake him off and ends up headbutting Beomgyu until he lets go (due to Kai’s surprising strength, not because of their sudden proximity, and definitely not because of the way their foreheads are pressing together). Beomgyu means to pull away, but Kai is staring at him, eyes bright even in the dim lighting of the living room. 

“Beomgyu-hyung,” he says fondly, eyes curving into pretty crescents, and then there’s an unexpected kiss on his nose, soft and fleeting, that makes Beomgyu’s heart ricochet in his chest. “Thank you.” 

“For what?”

Kai’s smile is warm, delicate.

“For being here.”

“Idiot,” Beomgyu says, thankful for the dark as he feels his cheeks start to burn, “I’ll always be here.”

When Kai murmurs “I know”, he’s so quiet that Beomgyu almost misses it, even though they’re close enough to be sharing breaths. He feels the grip on his waist tighten just slightly, then Kai gives him a half-lidded gaze as he tentatively brushes the tips of their noses together.

All Beomgyu needs to do is to lean in just slightly for their lips to touch, and he doesn’t wait, he does exactly that. The first kiss is brief, barely a peck before they break apart, but then Beomgyu presses a hand against the nape of Kai’s neck and guides him in again, fingertips grazing the sleep-messy hair that’s getting so long. 

Soobin is right, there’s no need for two blankets. Kai is so warm against him, from their entangled legs to how Kai has Beomgyu held against his chest, broader than he remembers, and finally his mouth as they kiss cautiously but with a heat that spreads over Beomgyu’s body until he feels almost hot even with the air conditioning right on top of them. 

Kai’s face is pink when they finally stop, Beomgyu’s eyes having adjusted enough to the dark to perceive it.

“Cute,” Beomgyu murmurs as he fixes Kai’s bangs out of his face, though the younger shakes his head until they fall right back over his eyes again. “Shy?” Beomgyu teases.

Kai hides his face against the crook of Beomgyu’s shoulder, which is answer enough. Not long after, he feels himself getting gathered up in Kai’s arms.

Beomgyu is the little spoon. He thinks he’ll die of embarrassment if he ever gets discovered like this, resolving promptly to leave early in the morning before the other members wake up.

“You’re cuter, hyungie,” Kai says belatedly, and Beomgyu smiles affectionately when he feels Kai’s rapid heartbeat against his back. 

“Sweet dreams, Kai-yah.”

Kai softens against him as sleep starts to steal him away. “Good night, Beomie.”

_Night two - Taehyun_

There’s no surprise tonight; after his vlive with Soobin, Taehyun tells Kai he’ll sleep with him in the living room, citing that he shouldn’t be alone.

“Aren’t you just out here because it’s hot in the room?” Kai teases as he drapes himself over Taehyun.

The redhead lets himself get engulfed, breathing in the faint scent of Kai’s citrus shampoo and body wash. Lately they haven’t been able to cuddle in their room, so he curls against Kai and savors the closeness.

“I can handle the heat,” Taehyun says, voice muffled against Kai’s chest. 

Kai picks up on the words unsaid. “But you can’t handle me being alone?” 

“Shameless,” Taehyun grumbles. After all, the point was made to be quietly assumed, not said out loud like this. Embarrassed, he flips them over until he’s the one lying on top, hands holding Kai’s by the wrists. 

Kai’s eyes sparkle with mischief and something softer. 

“You can stay like this.” Taehyun makes himself comfortable. It doesn’t take long, and the younger relaxes underneath him, as easygoing as always even though he’s being used as a personal pillow.

“Okay.” 

Taehyun can hear the grin in his voice even if he can’t see him. He exhales contentedly as Kai shrugs out of his grip—one hand going to pat his hair and the other going around his waist. 

“Hyun, you can sleep like this?”

“If I’m tired enough.”

“Are you?”

Taehyun looks at the living room clock. Kai usually sleeps earlier than him.

“Not really,” he says truthfully.

“Oh.” Kai stifles a yawn. “Want me to stay up with you?”

“You’re two seconds from passing out,” Taehyun says with fond amusement. “I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t want you to feel lonely. Everyone else is already asleep.”

Taehyun props his chin up on his hand. “You’re here, though.” 

“Yes, my unconscious body will be here if I fall asleep,” Kai says facetiously as he peers up at Taehyun through long lashes. His lower lip juts into a pout. “Play Cookie Run with me.”

“Okay, okay.”

Kai hums happily as he reaches underneath his pillow for his phone. “Which cookie are you using?”

“What’s that one you said reminded you of me?” Taehyun asks as he absentmindedly scrolls through his inventory.

“Pancake cookie,” Kai answers enthusiastically as he sits upright and pulls Taehyun into his lap with no effort at all. Taehyun is a bit envious that Kai hardly has to work for his strength, but he rarely uses it anyway. Or maybe it’s more correct to say he doesn’t know exactly how to use it, but when it comes to things like this, to adjusting Taehyun however he wants to on his lap, or strong-arming him into a cuddle session, or randomly picking him up to piggyback him, Kai seems perfectly capable.

Kai rests his chin on his shoulder as he loops his arms around Taehyun, caging him in. 

“I think I’ll use the Wizard cookie,” Kai says with a chuckle. “That one reminds me of you too.”

Taehyun snorts. “You take every opportunity to remind me that I’m older than you, huh.”

“Maybe,” Kai jokes, his breath fanning pleasantly against Taehyun’s neck. “You’re magical. Oh wait.” He can feel Kai tilt his head. “You know magic is what I meant. But ‘you’re magical’ works too.”

“The first one works better as a compliment,” Taehyun muses as he accepts the invite link.

Kai pitches his voice higher. “Oppa,” he says in a clear throwback to their magic vlive.

“Never do that again,” Taehyun deadpans, scrunching up his face in disgust as he turns around in Kai’s lap to face the little troublemaker. He doesn’t anticipate Kai to turn at the same time, freezing when their lips brush by accident. Coincidence? No, accident, Taehyun thinks firmly as his cheeks redden. Kai looks uncertain, but curious, surprisingly silent for once.

They’re close enough that Taehyun can feel Kai’s rapid heartbeat against his back. He looks at Kai, trying to calculate the chances of him being receptive. In the end, he decides it’s better to just ask.

“Do you want to…” he starts, but Kai nods before he finishes his sentence. Taehyun has never been nervous around him until now, but he still manages to squeeze his eyes shut before pressing his mouth hesitantly against Kai’s. 

Kissing feels like magic, but so does holding hands under the blanket when they pull away briefly, Cookie Run completely forgotten. Kai is warm against him, arms and shoulders firmer than expected as Taehyun leans in to touch their lips together again, and Kai is soft there, mouth parting slightly as he squeezes Taehyun’s hand. It’s an adventure, kissing Kai that is, and Taehyun likes the learning part, the feeling of newness fading into growing familiarity as their lips slide against each other, unhurried.

Kai blinks at him when they finally pull apart, looking a bit dazed and a bit satisfied. 

“Goodnight?” Taehyun says quietly.

The way Kai’s voice is just a tad bit too breathy when he says goodnight back as Taehyun wraps his arm around his waist to hug him close, that feels like magic too.

_Night three - Yeonjun_

Following Beomgyu and Taehyun, Kai shouldn’t be surprised when Yeonjun sets up his pillow next to him the next night, but he is.

“Yeonjunie-hyung,” Kai says, sleepily reaching out for a hug. “Is it too hot in your room too?”

“It’s a little warm,” Yeonjun agrees as he cuddles Kai, barely fitting his arm around both Kai and his Molang. Thank god he didn’t bring Huening-bread. He stretches Kai’s cheek. “That’s not why I’m here though.”

“Mmn, hyung.” Kai makes a soft nose of complaint, but he doesn’t move. “Why then?” It’s not uncommon for Kai to sleep next to Yeonjun whenever he naps in their practice room, but it’s rare the other way around.

“I want to,” Yeonjun says, and if Kai was a bit more awake, he’d laugh at how shameless the oldest sounds. Right now, however, he feels drowsy enough to let it go.

Yeonjun physically feels any reservations he might have had shatter when Kai snuggles closer, their hair sticking together from the proximity. He’s not surprised they dote on Kai so much; he can be completely disarming without even trying. Yeonjun kisses the tip of his nose. Kai always looked exceedingly ethereal when he’s asleep, with his long lashes resting on defined cheekbones and lips parted just slightly.

“Good night, angel.” 

Kai flutters awake at this, eyebrows drawing together.

“Hyung,” he says, tilting his head as he rubs his eyes sleepily. “What do you want from me?”

Yeonjun swears he’s usually more subtle, but Kai is a precocious brat. Still, he’s suddenly not as confident as he was. 

“Nothing,” he says innocently, but Kai’s eyes narrow and his pout comes out in full-force. Yeonjun sighs. Kai _knows_ he’s weak for him. “Fine. You owe me something,” Yeonjun says, lips curling into a smirk as he lifts Kai’s chin with his fingers, “and it’s time for me to collect.”

Kai giggles when realization dawns on him, and he dips close to kiss Yeonjun gently on the cheek. “There,” he says coyly, fingers fiddling with the bottom of Yeonjun’s pajama shirt.

Yeonjun nods in approval. “That’s for the arm wrestle,” he says, thumb brushing carefully across the swell of Kai’s lower lip. “But you made quite a few promises.”

“Maybe I did,” he says with a sheepish look, “are you collecting those too?”

Yeonjun studies Kai’s face. Even though he looks shy, his smile is teasing. He’s grown up to be a handful. 

“If you want me to.”

Kai nods, and Yeonjun is satisfied to see the lack of hesitation. 

“I thought you forgot,” Kai says, eyes half-lidded as Yeonjun leans closer. “‘M curious.” 

“Of course you are,” Yeonjun says, chuckle stuck at the back of his throat when he realizes how dangerous Kai has gotten when it comes to getting what he wants.

It’s impossible to get any closer without their mouths touching, so Yeonjun gives up on stalling and brushes their lips together once, twice before taking Kai’s lower lip between his own. He holds back a smile when Kai pushes for more; teasing is a form of art too, and he’s an all too capable artist.

He tsks. “Be patient.”

Kai mumbles something against his lips that sounds suspiciously like _“Don’t wanna.”_

Yeonjun smiles, endeared. He’s so spoiled. Mostly Soobin’s fault, probably, though no doubt they all had a hand.

True to his word, Yeonjun spends the next few minutes bringing Kai to the brink, pressure there but never enough, the slant of his mouth over Kai’s dizzying but dissatisfying at the same time. It’s only when Kai nips his lip in annoyance and nudges his plush to the side of the bed that Yeonjun indulges him, sliding his tongue in Kai’s mouth, taking note of the way he freezes before pulling on his shirtfront. 

He has the advantage over the others in this respect. After all, there is no one who can deny Yeonjun is an exceptionally good kisser.

“It’s weird,” Kai says sleepily against Yeonjun’s chest, hiding the pink on his cheeks as they cuddle close. “Why is everyone suddenly…” he trails off in embarrassment.

Yeonjun tenderly strokes his hair. “Do you like it, Ning?”

A pause, then, “Y-Yeah.”

“Don’t worry about it then,” Yeonjun says reassuringly, kissing the top of Kai’s head. “Good night, angel.”

Kai settles comfortably against him. “Good night Yeonjunie-hyung.”

Kai doesn’t ask Soobin to sleep with him again, but it doesn’t seem necessary, since Beomgyu kept him company the first night (Soobin still has those pictures for blackmail). Then Taehyun slept with him the night of their Vlive (right after jokingly calling him trash, exactly like Beomgyu did), and the night after seemed to be Yeonjun’s turn. 

At first Soobin doesn’t pay much mind to it. If the members want to sleep together, that’s none of his business. Hell, he crashes in the maknaes’ room from time to time. It’s only when he overhears Yeonjun saying, _“Well, Soobinie is the only one who hasn’t kissed Ning yet, right?”_ that he’s thrown so off his game that their practice runs an extra hour long because of him (humiliating). 

Because he _has_ kissed Kai, a few times actually, but he keeps those handful of memories tucked away, for nights when he lets his imagination run wild and wonder what would happen if they’d talked about it. That’s the one thing they’ve both silently agreed to never bring up, even during late night talks when they lay every other part of themselves bare. They do not talk about the stolen intimacy in the hallways where if they arrived early enough or stayed late enough they wouldn’t have to worry about running into other trainees, wouldn’t have to worry about the CCTVs that guarded each practice room. They do not talk about the kiss Kai sneaks one time at the McDonald’s on the way home, when he pulls their hoodies close together at the corner table. They do not talk about Kai staying in Soobin’s bed at the dorms or vice versa where they’d been so wrapped up in each other it was impossible to tell where one started and the other ended. 

And they do not talk about the last kiss the night before their official debut. Morning of the debut technically, because nobody had been able to get any sleep. The one in the kitchen, Kai backed up against the refrigerator, the other members back in their shared room still trading stories about trainee days, and they had slipped away, perhaps with no subtlety at all but with the understanding that they wouldn’t be bothered. They knew then, that it was the last kiss, and maybe that’s why Soobin had never been able to properly let go, because he’d felt that almost-vengeful desire to imprint himself on Kai too, to make himself as unforgettable and world-shattering and life-changing as Kai was to him. He had been desperate then, desperate but resigned, had poured everything he couldn’t explain into words into the then-feverish slide of their mouths together.

And Kai had looked at him in quiet understanding, eyelashes damp with tears for the last time when it ended, and he couldn’t—hasn’t—can’t—forgive himself for that either. 

So it’s Soobin who shows up uninvited in Kai’s makeshift bed that night, even though the younger blinks sleepily at him and tells him to forget about it, because he’s going to leave when he falls asleep anyway. 

“I won’t this time,” Soobin insists as he pulls the blanket over himself, burrowing close and laying his head on the same pillow so their faces are only inches away from each other. Kai grumbles something unintelligible but shifts the plushies so Soobin can comfortably throw an arm around his waist like he’s always done. Their legs lock together habitually. 

So Soobin is here, obviously, without any sort of game plan. He wonders if he’s just going to wind up thinking in the same circle he had the other night. He wants to catch Kai before he knocks out, but he feels the questions stick in his throat as he again watches the rise and fall of Kai’s chest as his breathing evens out. He strokes Kai’s hair and thinks about whether or not it’s even worth it to chase down the answers, about what he should do with this burning envy—because jealousy is a term reserved for something one is afraid of losing, and Kai isn’t his to lose anymore. He mindlessly plucks Molang out of Kai’s grip to shift them closer together, not even fully registering what he had done until Kai bodily presses up against him, broad shoulders tight against Soobin’s own and nose butting up against the bottom of his chin. 

Kai smells like oranges, like brightness. Soobin inhales shallowly against his hair, holds him a little closer. Thinks about their last kiss again, when it was dark in the kitchen, and Kai had smelled like their shared body wash instead (the one Soobin still uses). Ponders a little more while he breathes deep and feels Kai’s heart beat steadily against his. 

Arriving to the conclusion that no, he won’t say anything. 

_Good talk,_ Soobin thinks to himself wryly as he brushes his lips against Kai’s forehead. 

“Goodnight, Hueningie.” 

“Goodnight, hyung,” Kai returns softly, hand rubbing firmly against his stomach, and Soobin jumps in surprise. 

“You’re not asleep yet?” 

Kai doesn’t move his hand. He eases his head back until they’re looking at each other in the dim light offered by the moon through the living room window. 

“Was wondering if you were going to kiss me too,” Kai says nonchalantly, eyes open now and revealing nothing. But he always knew how to push Soobin’s buttons, knows how to make him instantly bitter and selfish and envious again. 

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Soobin says finally, still trudging through the stifling atmosphere and emotions.

“But are you going to?” 

And maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised at his own desperation, having known and felt it before. He cups Kai’s face, feels that jaw jut into his palm before he closes his eyes and kisses Kai again for the first time in a year and five months, heart dropping when it still feels like coming home. Kai’s hand is in his hair, pressing him closer, impatient as he licks into Soobin’s mouth like he has a point to prove. He takes Soobin apart and rebuilds him flawlessly from the scattered pieces because he knows him _that_ well, because they’re still perfect together, they’re still one part of the same whole even if they’ve learned how to function separately. 

Kai starts to catch his breath between increasingly hurried kisses, and as Soobin begins to pull back for a break, Kai mumbles a _“no”,_ against his mouth, the hand that was firm on Soobin’s stomach moving to press firmly against his shoulder now as Kai leverages himself on his elbow. He keeps Soobin pinned down like that, lips moving with the same breed of desperation that Soobin feels down to the marrow, gives and gives and _gives_ until Soobin isn’t satisfied, until Soobin kisses a line down his jaw, past his palm and past inhibitions. _Bad._ But he can’t think past the arch of Kai’s body against his when he leaves open-mouthed kisses all over the pale column of his neck, consequences immediately blooming red against the sensitive skin.

“Hyung,” Kai breathes, quietly gasping, _“Soobin.”_ And he unravels at the seams, arm buckling, tumbling down and Soobin is there to catch him. He holds Kai in his hands, his whole world balanced between his thumbs, his eyes glittering even in the dark. 

“I need you,” Soobin admits in a rush of honesty. 

“I know,” Kai says, and Soobin is already leaning up to kiss him again. “And that’s okay.” 

Beomgyu nudges Yeonjun in the side as he points to the pair who haven’t separated since that morning. “I think your plan worked.” 

The blond nods sagely. “I thought it would.” 

“Why did we kiss him, though?” Taehyun asks as he assists with Beomgyu’s stretch. 

Yeonjun smirks. “I didn’t say you had to.” 

Beomgyu yelps as he jumps to his feet, nearly knocking Taehyun over. “Yah—” 

“Don’t say you didn’t like it,” Yeonjun interjects smugly. “Besides, Soobinie’s definitely not up to share now, so it’s better to get that curiosity out of the way while we can.” 

Beomgyu looks over at the sickeningly sweet couple cooing at each other and groans. “Maybe we should have left them the way they were before.” 

Yeonjun hums as he looks at the two in front of him deviously. “So now what about you two?” 

Beomgyu and Taehyun immediately jump apart. 

“Don’t even think about it!” Taehyun says at the same time as Beomgyu asks, “What about us?”

Yeonjun’s grin widens. 

**Author's Note:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/yourcutiekai) & [ask](https://curiouscat.me/dracometria) >3<♡
> 
> i do have a ton of wips and projects to work on so if you've been seeing less of me that's why ;__;  
> take care of yourselves and stay safe everyone!


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